The American High School Student

I interviewed two high school juniors yesterday because they were taking part in an environmental project to reduce the use of plastic bags by stores in town. During the interview, I asked one of them why they decided to take part in the project. The answer given by this darling teen melted my heart.

Me: So, why did you choose to dedicate your time to working on this initiative?

Student: Well, I'm not going to lie, it looks really good on college applications.

Both adorable and inspiring.

Poor Tim :(

I saw the most depressing thing the other day. I was driving behind a mivi van, which of course was filled with beyond stupid bumper stickers. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, no one cares that your kid ate pizza with their school principal. I bet the principal's kids eat meals with them all the time. Does that mean they should be canonized? Anyway, amidst all the stupid stickers was a particularly disturbing sight. The family stick-figure bumper sticker. We've all seen them. They are these little stick figures that are personalized to show that particular family member's hobby or trade. Mommy with the garden hose. Daddy with his fireman gear on. Ashley with her cheerleading pom poms. The stick-figure family I saw had all of these typical kinds of traits — expect for Tim. No, Tim did not have a soccer ball, or a guitar, or any other kind of thing a young boy plays with. Instead, Tim just had a cane.

A cane.

So, not only is poor Tim handicapped, but his family is using their mini van to reiterate that fact. It's hard to believe that Tim does nothing else but be handicapped. I mean, if he really doesn't do ANYTHING else, then make it up! Geez, even the the stick-figure family dog had a toy.

Call A Spade A Spade

It looks like the conservative right-wing camp has found a new spokes model. Sorry, Sexy Sarah.

This week, "The Donald" told Carrie Prejean [Miss California] that she would be able to keep her crown despite the fact that several pictures of her showing her tatas in all of their fake glory had surfaced. As we all know, boobies weren't the real issue at hand.

Carrie has been taking a lashing from the media lately because she said she didn't believe in gay marriage during the Miss USA pageant when she was asked the question by Perez Hilton. Instead, Miss Congeniality said she believes in "opposite marriage." First of all, "opposite marriage?" That's different.

Even though only 7 people actually watched the pageant on television, her comments caused a firestorm of media attention. Why, you ask? Because even though she was simply expressing her opinion, it was one of extreme discrimination laced with homophobia. [Which is ironic because I'm pretty sure the gays are the only one still watching beauty pageants. Well, gays and those creepy Texan mothers who force their 3 year old daughters to dress like hookers and perform in the Miss Corn Cob pageant every year].

Let's not mistake this whole situation as just some pretty blonde expressing her innocent opinion on the big, bad GAYS! Once you let the gays get married, what's next??? All of the opposite married people will be killed off, one-by-one, by all the "same-marriage" homos, while Cher is loudly playing in the background. The horror!

Here's my point: If this was maybe 50 or 60 years ago, a pageant queen may have been asked a similar question, but perhaps regarding marriage between a black and white person. Mixed marriages weren't always legal in this country. It took a long time before people woke up and realized it doesn't matter if someone is black, white, Asian, Hispanic, or whatever they may be. Love is love and what a human being looks like has no bearing on that love and who it will be shared with. I hope that it doesn't take as long for this country to make that realization when it comes to the gay folk. Could you imagine if someone [other than a Klan member or those creepy sisters from Prussian Blue] went on national television and said they didn't believe whites and blacks should legally be able to marry? I don't even want to think about the shit-storm that would arise. Al Sharpton would personally shank said individual. .

The bottom line is that Carrie Prejean gave an incredibly discriminatory opinion, and she got crap for it, and frankly, she should have.

An Open Letter to President Obama

Dear President Obama,
As you begin your first term in office, you are going to be faced with many obstacles that will test your skills and leadership capability. You will be expected to repair our damaged economy, bring peace to the Middle East and stop the thousands of terrorists out there who wish to destroy America and all it stands for.

But please, if you only do one thing during your presidency, do this single action for me....




Sport a Dr. Huxtable sweater at least one time during your term and make all of my Cosby dreams come true.

You Expect Us To Fly Commercial?

As millions of Americans lose their jobs each month, businesses struggle to keep their doors open and schlubs like us stretch each dollar to its complete capacity, it is good to know that folks over at Citi Group will rest easy while traveling on their brand spanking new jet... paid for of course by you and I.

Oh yes, Citi Group, which received 45 billion dollars from one of the bailout packages, is shelling out $50,000,000 to purchase a twelve-seat corporate jet.

It is intensely satisfying to know that while all of us down here on Earth are clipping coupons and trying to carefully dissect each meager paycheck, the executives from Citi Group will be flying high, miles above, in complete and utter comfort, courtesy of us.

Don't let the Hudson River hit you on the went up, boys.

Foreshadowing

I realized last night that perhaps one of the reasons why I am such a Hillary fan is because when I was 6 years old I had her haircut. Thanks Mom.

Finger Lickin' Good

It is a sad day when we are feeding our children little human fingers. To start them off as cannibals at such a young age is deplorable. Gerber, why??? Just why??